Home Coming


“And it’s when we give to ourselves, that we become.”
As a mother of an active toddler and a homeschooler, I devote the majority of my time, energy, attention, and heart to nurturing my child and family. In fact, the caregiver role has been central throughout my life - it doesn't surprise me at all that I'm also highly devoted to therapeutical work, coaching and teaching.

Despite of absolutely loving being a mum and overall, a caregiver, there are moments, hours and days when I'm just pretty much lost. By this I mean, to feel disconnected from the purpose and meaning of my life. Or simply put: I don't feel at home.

For me home is more than a place- it’s about the ability of being fully present.
Nowadays this is quite a challenge, considering the unsupportive layers of stress, speed and goal-orientated layers of our society. Generally we tend to identify ourselves with what we do or with what our bodies look like. We tend to measure our value through the filter of achievement and accomplishment. Authority resides in external sources - the teacher, the expert, the scientist, the doctor, the guru - and not in ourselves.

I carry with me memories from a childhood spent in a small Portuguese village, where people after a meal, would just sit for a couple of hours in front of their houses, contemplating the surroundings and receptive to anyone who would pass nearby - no cellphones, no computers, no distractions, just openness and timelessness.

What I experience in the current times, specially in the city’s context, is that the quality of being present is just so much hard to embody. Time-bound and recognition-dependency. Reduced space and time for contemplation and stillness.

This, for me, makes it crystal-clear: I ask for more layers of support around me, that reinforce health and beingness.
Till my mid twenties, becoming still and retreating were just unthinkable attitudes. I mean, how would this help with being successful and valuable? Or with academic worth? Or with a thriving social life? But now, things changed. I don’t want to be dictated by external conditions anymore. I want instead, to own my creative power. To reclaim my sovereign being.

I was away from home for a long time, but now I’m gently and fiercely returning. I am here. And I am settling more and more into the roots of my being.